Keep off the 2ft patch of grass


This is possibly the smallest area of turf protected by a “Keep Off The Grass” sign in London

It was installed by Merton council to stop drivers ruining the tiny patch of grass and it is still defending its decision to retain the sign in order to prevent rogue parking.

Locals in Elm Walk, Raynes Park commented that the deterrent had become a “thing of great amusement” given that the space is only large enough to house a unicycle. However, Merton council regard the matter with nothing but seriousness, even dispatching a two-strong team to install it.

Resident Tom Beardmore said: “I walked past it and did a double take, I was astonished. I just couldn’t see the value in having it there and was so flabbergasted I just stared at it for a moment or two to take it in.

“It’s between two drives so there’s no way anyone could fit a car in there. It’s got to be a candidate for the stupidest sign in London.”

A pensioner who wants to remain anonymous and lives in view of the sign said: “Everyone has a laugh about the size of the piece of grass, which is now no more than weeds.
“Visitors always comment on how silly it is that the council wants to protect such a small patch.”

A spokeswoman for Merton council countered: “The sign was put up to remind motorists that it is illegal to park on the footway and is designed to deter indiscriminate parking.”

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